The Holidays Present a Great Opportunity To Check on Older Relatives

Now that the winter holiday season is here, many of us are looking forward to spending time with family on Christmas or New Year’s Day, or during Hanukkah, Kwanzaa or other seasonal celebrations. For some families, this may be the only time of year they’re able to get everyone together.

There are many reasons why spending time with family is important, no matter what time of year it may be. Reconnecting with family members can bring great joy, and that’s a boon to our physical, mental and emotional health.

Another valuable (but often overlooked) reason for getting together with family during the holidays is that it provides a ready-made opportunity to see how older relatives are doing. This is especially true for seniors who live alone, as they tend to have fewer interactions with other people.

Is Your Loved One Struggling in Silence?

Age-related changes can occur quite gradually. In some cases, older adults might not be aware that their living situation is unsafe. Or they may not realize that a little help would make their lives a whole lot easier.

Sometimes, though, an aging parent or other family member may choose not to let anyone know they’re having challenges with their day-to-day routines. They may not want to “burden” anyone else with their problems. It’s also possible they’re worried about losing their independence.

If you have older adults in your family, spending time with them during the winter holidays gives you a chance to pick up on changes that others around them might be missing.

Do you know what to look for? The following list can help you spot potential problems. These situations could signal the need to begin discussing what’s best for your loved one’s well-being.

Holiday Check-In Questions

How is your loved one’s appearance?

Are they disheveled or not as well-groomed as usual?
Have they lost or gained a substantial amount of weight?
Do they look tired or seem lethargic?
Are there bumps, bruises, scrapes or scratches that might suggest a recent fall or accident?

Are there noticeable differences in your loved one’s physical health?

Are there any changes in mobility? (Can they still easily navigate stairs, get up from a chair without a lot of effort and walk with a steady gait?)
Has their vision or hearing gotten worse?
Do they seem to be in any pain or have stiffness that interferes with daily activities?
Is there a change in their appetite?

Are there changes in your loved one’s mental or emotional health?

Do they seem depressed or uninterested in activities they normally enjoy?
Are they becoming more forgetful or less able to focus?
Are they easily confused or distressed in unfamiliar surroundings?
Have they become more withdrawn?
Could they be an easy target for scammers?
If an emergency arose, could they get the assistance they need?

Are there telltale signs in and around your loved one’s home?

A general decline in cleanliness and/or increased clutter.
Repairs that haven’t been taken care of.
Unopened mail that has piled up.
Spoiled food in the refrigerator or a lack of food on hand.
Pets that aren’t being cared for (or picked up after) as they should be.
Neglected yardwork or car maintenance.

Could your loved one’s house be made safer?

Are smoke alarms and carbon monoxide detectors working? Do the batteries need replacing?
Are there throw rugs, electrical cords and other hazards that might cause a fall?
Are there places where hand grips and railings could help prevent falls?
Could furniture be rearranged to make the home easier to navigate?

A Little Consideration Goes a Long Way

While the holidays are generally a happy time for most people, for others, it can be a less-than-joyful time of year. Maybe there’s been a recent loss, or maybe the holidays are a reminder of previously happy times that included someone who is no longer here.

The holidays can also be a source of stress for those who feel as though they have to rise to the occasion. There may be extra cooking, baking, shopping and cleaning to do, as well as decorating, socializing and other holiday-related activities. It can be overwhelming.

If your loved one is feeling sad or anxious, see if they want to talk about it. You may or may not be able to cheer them up or lighten their load. Sometimes it’s enough just to know you’re there to listen.

The National Council on Aging offers tips for self-care during the holidays that people of all ages may find helpful.

Getting the Conversation Going

So, what do you do if you’ve detected changes in your loved one or their home that are cause for concern?

Clearly, if the changes pose a serious threat to your loved one’s health or safety, the situation needs to be addressed promptly. It may be a good idea to discuss potential solutions and map out a plan with the rest of the family while you’re all together.

To the extent possible, it’s important to include your loved one in the discussions and decision-making process. You don’t want them to feel as if the family is ganging up on them or taking away their autonomy.

If you’re seeing changes that don’t require immediate action, you might opt to hold off on those conversations until after the holidays. For the time being, maybe you simply broach the topic with a few family members and plan a time to start discussing the options with your loved one.

Could Senior Living Be the Right Choice?

In our conversations with older adults and their families, we find that many people have misconceptions about senior living communities. They still think of them as the nursing homes of days gone by.

When they come to visit Heritage Community of Kalamazoo, they’re pleasantly surprised to find it’s not at all what they imagined. Seniors in our community are thriving, finding new interests and making new friends. Rather than trying to maintain a house (and a lifestyle) that no longer suits their needs, they’re focused on enjoying each day in ways that matter to them.

Incidentally, it’s not just the residents who benefit from living in a community like ours. Their families do, too, because they know their loved one is in a secure, supportive environment.

Want to learn more about Heritage Community of Kalamazoo? Come visit! To set up a time, call (269) 364-6560 or fill out our brief contact form.

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